I Thank God

I was just in my room dawdling around and suddenly something hit me. I mean, I have thought of it before but it hit me pretty hard just now. I am so blessed. I may have to move home with my parents and I may never get a job and end up a homeless thirty somethings, but I am so blessed. First of all, I live in America where there is tons of food in garbage cans that I will be able to find. I mean really. If I was homeless in a poor country because some stupid fucking Corporation kicked me off my land to build a Mono cropping empire it would way more difficult to survive. I mean, really survive. Not just live in a crappy house or a box and scavenge for food, but I would literally not have any, like I literally don't have money right now.

Also, I am blessed in smaller ways. I have had this same damn computer since I was a freshman in high school. It's a pile of shit that runs but only because I have so many brilliant computer friends that help me out. If it wasn't for them I would have trashed it a long time ago and then looking for jobs, keeping myself from getting depressed and learning interesting things would be way more difficult. I mean, I am not 100% reliant on my computer but it often makes my life much easier and makes it possible in this era for me to not spend all that extra money on a cell phone because I can usually get ahold of people instantly through facebook or email. So I thank God for the brilliant friends I have that are willing to spend so much time on my computer.

I thank God for my ability to cook. I mean yea, anyone can teach themselves to cook if they try, but I really have a knack for it and it saves me a lot of money that I would have spent on frozen dinners. Of course I leave the stuff I cooked out overnight half the time and end up throwing it away but still, compared to some of my friends, I spend way less money for way more food and it goes a lot further. In this I thank God for my mother, who taught me how to cook and inspired me to love food the way I do. On that note I thank God that my parents raised me to look for deals, to cut coupons to shop for sales and to go to the 2 dollar movie on Tuesdays so its only one dollar (In all fairness its really my sister who did that). I know it sounds like stupid little things but I have a lot of friends (specifically guy friends) who don't understand that concept and literally can't see a deal if its right in front of them (at the grocery store).

I thank God that he has allowed me free access to a gym. I don't use it as often as I should but I would go crazy if I didn't have anywhere to work out in the winter and if I wasn't an aerobics instructor for the U I wouldn't be able to afford anything like a gym membership at this point in my life.

I thank God that for this coupon that my roommate gave me that entitles me to a free meal at bakers square every day for a month.
I thank God for a boyfriend who gives me a new boost every two weeks when I get to see him.
I thank God for giving me so many rainy days this fall to enjoy and look at
I thank God for an apt. building that has heat that works
I thank God for the fact that if I do have to move home my parents have a downstairs large enough to give me some privacy
I thank God that I almost never have to pay for weed
I thank God for a church that is so close, as opposed to 30 minutes away like when I was little
I thank God for my brand new shoes I didn't have to pay for


Thats enough for now but it is never really enough. I have been so selfish lately and looking inward to an infinite degree. God is good and just and loving and perfect and I am humbled by his grace