Merry Christmas

Today is Christmas eve day I woke up this morning with a lot of things on my mind. As I lay in bed trying to figure out how I was going to get my last minute shopping done my mind started to wander. You would think that it would wander to the season, or to my family but nope. I started thinking about sex. I guess that isn't really a surprise but it isn't the first thing that usually pops into my head on Christmas. But as I lay there i was thinking, Why is there no male birth control pill? I mean, obviously the technology is there. Clearly it would have something to do with hormone replacement. We have had contraceptives for women since the late 60's. I mean, come on....right? Well, i did some searching on google and I came up with a few links. This one http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/3543478/ in particular looked interesting. I am not a fancy pants so I don't know how to make links work so readers, if youre interested copy and paste plzthx. (stole that from my boyfriends blog, love love love it) This is an article about male contraceptives. At first I was sad that it wasn't an original million dollar idea and after I started reading I was, truthfully, a bit sadder. I mean, yes I am excited that male contraceptives are starting to be an option, but when you read into the article they are really, like I stated earlier, the exact same thing as contraceptives for females. They inject testosterone in small doses into the male system. It seems to me from the article like they began to take this seriously in the early 90s? My question is, Why the fuck did this take 30+ years to develop, whereas we have had female contraceptives so long???? I believe there are several answers to that. The first and most prominent is the long held subconcious belief that it is a womans "fault" if she gets pregnant. Sex is never punished or noticed until a woman gets pregnant. As she is the visible sign of an invisible "problem" it has long been custom in cultures across the world for women to be blamed for pregnancy. Therefore, when first thinking about birth control, way back when women's rights were still a flicker in most eyes, the obvious way of controlled pregnancy started with women. They need to be fixed, they need to change. In reality, these two sciences should have been developed side by side. The fact that nobody thought of even trying to control a mans sperm count is just really sad. Condoms, being the only real form of male birth control seem to have gained publicity more so as a result of the AIDS and other STD crises' round the world.
I am sure that there are plenty of loving caring heterosexual relationships where the guy faithfully wears condoms and cares very much about not getting his girlfriend pregnant for selfless reasons. But, I would say many many men, given the chance to have sex with a girl with no condom and no direct consequences to them (say a one night stand perhaps?) would take it. Condoms are uncomfortable and as little problem and as inexpensive as they are, men care more often about their comfort it seems than the person with whom they are having intimate relations. (This is in no way meant to bash my very very lovely boyfriend with whom I occasionally have non protected sex. I love our sex and I want to have your babies. JK. Kind of)
Looking at this article gave rise to more suspicions about the male ego. Men don't want their sperm fucked with. It is as bad or worse I would say in this culture for men to be sterile than for women. The stigma that follows a man who is sterile is perpetuated almost solely by men. This is just an opinion but I feel like women are far more accepting of men being sterile in a relationship than a man is if he wants kids and his wife is sterile. Clearly I have no evidence of this but it just furthers my opinion that men bring this stigma on themselves. I think that this stigma, in combination with the undercurrent of belief perpetuating that women are the "temptation" and that it is all their fault if they become pregnant, has led to a delay in mens contraception. I am glad that it is finally happening and it will be interesting to see the differences of opinion among men. I mean, don't get me wrong. A lot of women don't want to be on any form of birth control because they do not want to fuck with their hormones and possibly (but unsupported by research) with their future ability to have children. So, it is a completely valid argument that a man may not want his dong fucked with either. But in some cases it will be interesting to see how taking birth control medication (or not taking it) will be directed by a man's false sense of importance and a definition of himself that is put in place by his sexuality, his performance, his ability to make children.

Now that I am done with my halfhearted, poorly worded feminist rant I would also like to say that yesterday it was three months since I officially started dating B. We were so excited to spend Christmas together all the way back in Sept. and I am still so excited to give him his gifts tomorrow night. He and I with my roommate are exchanging them. That will be really fun. We have definitely had some up and downs in our relationship so far and I can't help but wonder where the next few months will bring us. I can't quite see to the end of this relationship like I have been able to in the past and as nervous as it makes me I want to continue to put my all into it. He is my Godsend and quickly becoming one of my best friends. Merry Christmas to my lover and my boyfriend, my partner and my other half. I have a whole list of trouble I want to start with you so you best not leave me yet.