Party

Sooooo....tonight. Hmmmm. I had a nineties party, which was really great. Honestly, it turned out really awesome and way more people showed up than I thought would. I mean, not nearly as many as I would have liked but they all seemed to get along great, everyone was fun and wonderful. I wanted people to dance more, thats the whole idea of a nineties party in my head. Well any party really, i just love to dance. I love the way dancing forces you to interact with people. It forces you to recognize someone in your space, adjust and enjoy it. I love all the interaction that goes with that. I had a few really cool people show up tonight. I had my friend Jon show up. I never need to abbreviate the name Jon because I just have so many friends with that name. Anyway, he is this amazing artist that I have been friends with for a long time. Actually, his brother Zach was my first kiss and his brother Seth was one of my best friends for a long time, minus the time where I was semi dating Zach, in which case he refused to call me anything but "Monster." Who else? Joanna, Laura, Ben A, B, Bryan, Tommy, Bobby and Chris. I honestly didn't think Bobby and Chris would show up but they did. Wow, I am boring just listing off names. There were more. Alex, etc. But I am just really excited that people had a good time. Well, they all seemed to have a good time till the end. Then of course Ben got pissed as usual but it wasn't nearly as bad as usual. B got sad or pissed or something. I didn't even know he was but then I oops called him TWICE because I am a loser haha. He was mad or sad about something. Hopefully he will tell me at some point if it was something I did. Other than that, I had a great time tonight. I love hosting things. Nobody gave me any fucking money for anything (except B tried to but I owed him for gas so I wouldn't let him). But I really didn't mind. Yea, maybe I blew sixty dollars on everything and everyone. But I absolutely love to see people getting along, laughing, having a great time. The drinks I made were a hit. The beer was a little warm but these things happen:) I had a phenomenal time. There was some slight drama over a broken window and I ended up defending my friend against another friend. This was ridiculous, but it does remind me that I am a fierce friend. I will not take bullshit when it comes to that sort of thing. If I know a person to be innocent, if I know a person to be good and wonderful, I will sit theres and argue until I am old and my teeth fall out for one of those people. I love my friends, even the clingy ones who have crushes on me. Anyway, I think my favorite song tonight was this Shins song that Jon played for me. It was really great.
After the party, a bunch of the people went into my neighbors apartment and hung out there. This includes Bang, my roomate. I felt pretty left out actually, especially since they went downtown first and hung out. When I went in there, the only thing they were interested in was accusing my friend wrongly of breaking that window and I wasn't interested in arguing with them. So I am back here now, I am happy because I want to spend some time alone. The silence feels excellent. But I am unhappy because in a way, I don't feel like I am choosing this aloneness. That makes all the difference to me. Even if I wanted to go in the other apt. I would never let myself. Ridiculous. But yea. Right now, the silence seems golden. It's a gorgeous night. I am a little worried about B, I hope I didn't do anything wrong. I had a great night with him. I loved his outfit, he was so sexy and everything about him was phenomenal as usual.
My roommate and I are still arguing about weather or not my friend broke that window. I am glad that she cares about me enough to worry for me, to worry that I might be in danger, to worry that I am being controlled. Sometimes I worry for myself these same things but then I realize how melodramatic, how ridiculously over sensitive I am. This blog made no sense. I am not sad or worried, I just want tonight to be over because of the whole window thing.